i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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