Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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