i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize