There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
