She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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