he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
