yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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