You smell like stripper and shame
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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