Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
