Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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