so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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