You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
