when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
