i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
