The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
