We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
