We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
