i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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