: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
