Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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