I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
