I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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