Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
