Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
