I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
