put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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