why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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