Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
