just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
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