Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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