I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
