i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
