Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
My vagina just recognized that song.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
