why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
