We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
