I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize