Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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