I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
