SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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