I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize