Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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