We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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