I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
