lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
