I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
