it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
