Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
this is an emotional support booty call
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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