The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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