I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
