I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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