I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
