Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
