so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
