Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
