Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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