It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Boobs are out for the taking
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
