Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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