i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
only if we run a train.
done.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Randomize
