So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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