Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
