Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
