i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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