In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
