oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize