and she was petting her beer can
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
