you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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