Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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