He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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