OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
