She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
how does that bad decision feel?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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