i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
