Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
