I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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