I just cut my nipple shaving
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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